Someone To Talk To
by lily day
Summary: The pressures of being a ninja are beginning to get to Sakura. Sasuke is so cold, Naruto is wrapped up in his new girlfriend and Kakashi is she a fac behind a mask... or is he? Rated R for s
1. Chapter One

Lily: this story is dedicated to all the girls out there. i wrote this while on my period and listening to Jekyl and Hyde. expect lots of prettyful gothic morbidness. review. do you love it? hate it?  
  
  
**Someone To Talk To  
Chapter One  
**  
Sakura sighed. They were finally stopping and near a hot spring no less. It may not have been a bathhouse with fluffy towels, squishy beds and thick blankets but it was better than nothing. After checking that no one was near, she shed her sweaty clothes and stepped into the spring. At least she could relax alone while Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke bathed further down.  
  
Sakura had been feeling wretched all day long. They had trained until they were bone tired, covered in sweat, scratches and bruises. The usual soreness from training was worsened by the fact that Sakura was currently on her period. Cramps caused her stomach to double up and she could have sworn that you could smell the stench of the blood that collected between her legs. She felt disgusting. She shouldn't be allowed to touch anything or anyone.  
  
Dirty girl.  
  
Bloody girl.  
  
Sick girl.  
  
Bad girl.  
  
Sakura hissed slightly as the hot water touched her sensitive skin. She slowly lowered herself into the water, liking the tingle that spread across her tired muscles. Sakura sat for a moment when she felt a her stomach wrench and a familiar sticky sensation between her thighs.  
  
Thick, sticky, rancid, black, blood was slipping along her scraped legs and tainting the water red.  
  
Sakura gulped back tears. Blood didn't bother her. How could it? She was a ninja. But blood like _this_... when she had a cut, it was _supposed_ to bleed, her body was hurt and it was showing her that it needed to be fixed. But for her normally faithful body to suddenly revolt and betray her like this, becoming something dirty and taboo, that was just too much.  
  
Sakura felt so revolting. It was no wonder that people didn't want to be near her. Sasuke was as cold as always, Kakashi was just a distant face behind a mask, Ino hated her and Naruto was so wrapped up in having Hinata as a girlfriend that he hardly paid any attention to Sakura anymore. Sakura was alone. Lonely little cherry blossom. Lonely loser.   
  
Naruto wasn't the dead last one, Sakura was.  
  
Sasuke and Naruto were amazing fighters, their chakra nearly boundless. They progressed so quickly, learning technique after technique. They were human whirlwinds. And Sakura? Sakura was left in their dust, panting to keep up.  
  
Dirty girl.  
  
Bloody girl.  
  
Sick girl.  
  
Bad girl.  
  
Stupid girl.  
  
Lonely girl.  
  
Loser girl.  
  
You don't deserve anything. It's good that you're alone. You don't deserve friends. It's good that you bleed like this. It keeps people away from you. No one wants to be near you. Everyone hates you. They hate you. They hate you. They hate you. They hate you.  
  
Sakura whimpered and pulled out her kunai from her clothes.  
  
She dragged the cold blade across her flesh, feeling it slice through. She carved the words into her thighs. Stupid. Bad. Loser. This is your punishment for being the slow one, the one that holds people back. This pain is good for you. Maybe you'll learn.  
  
Sakura stood up, watching with morbid fascination as the bloody water droplets rolled down her legs.  
  
Blood didn't bother her.  
  
Sakura tightly bound the cuts across her legs. She couldn't have her trivial pains slowing up her team mates tomorrow. She walked slowly back to the camp, composing herself along the way. She had to be happy, so as not to worry her team mates. Sakura pitched her tent as far away from the others as she could, that way she could cry herself to sleep without worrying about waking her team mates. Everything for them, nothing for her.  
  
  
Kakashi sniffed the air beneath his mask. Sakura had just walked by, smelling heavily of blood. She had smelt that way all day, but Kakashi knew that. But this blood smelled different. Menstrual blood had a distinct stench heavy, rancid and oddly sweet. The blood that Kakashi smelled on Sakura was a mixture of rancid and crisper, fresh blood, the kind that ran through your veins.  
  
What was wrong? Why hadn't Sakura mentioned anything? Was she hurt? Or was it something... else?  
  
Kakashi waited until Sasuke and Naruto had gone to their tents before creeping silently to a tree that hung over Sakura's tent. He crouched on it and listened intently. He could hear the faint sounds of sobbing. The gut wrenching, animal sounding sobs of sheer sorrow.


	2. Chapter Two

  
Chapter Two  
  
Kakashi hopped down from his perch in the tree. This was not good. Sakura, the only semi-stable member of the team, was crying alone in her tent. What was wrong? Was she injured? Kakashi cautiously undid the zipper at the front of the tent.  
  
Sakura was sprawled face down across her sleeping bag, her back heaving with sobs. She was only wearing her red chinese dress, so the slightly bloody bandages on her legs were no longer hidden under her black britches.  
  
Kakashi knelt down beside her. Sakura? Are you all right?  
  
Sakura didn't answer, she only continued to cry.  
  
  
  
Kakashi gently shook Sakura's shoulders. When she didn't respond he shook them again. Suddenly, Sakura gave a scream and smacked Kakashi's hands away. She flung herself back onto the blanket and continued crying.  
  
Why can't you just leave me alone? she moaned into the down blanket.  
Ano... Sakura, you're my student. I worry about you...  
Worry? When have you ever worried about _me_?  
Kakashi sat back on his heels. _That was uncalled for_, he thought.  
I always worry about you, Sakura.  
You have a funny way of showing it! You always train Sasuke and Naruto, never _me_. I'm always the one stuck with the easy crap! I may not be as strong as them but I _could_ be. If you would _teach_ me, I could be!  
  
Sakura sat up, her tear-reddened eyes narrowed in anger.  
  
Ever since I told my parents that I wanted to be a ninja, people have been telling me that I'm too weak. That girls can't be ninjas. I'm sick and tired of it! If I complain to anyone about how hard it is they just say that I should've known that girls are too weak to be ninjas. I have no one to talk to! I can't talk to my team mates. Sasuke's a frigid bastard, Naruto's dropped me cold and you, you're just a pervert who's too afraid to show his face! _I can't take it anymore!_ I'm so sick of being weak. I cut myself to try and prove that I'm not, that I can take the pain.  
  
Sakura slumped down slightly, panting from her sudden tirade and the emotions that accompanied it.  
  
Kakashi blinked his one eye, startled at Sakura's outburst. She had always been the level headed one, the planner. To hear her confess to so much personal torture was shocking.  
  
... Plus, I'm on my period and I have cramps and I'm really depressed and like I said, I wouldn't really want to try and explain how hard it is to change a tampon in the woods to Sasuke or Naruto.  
  
Kakashi blinked again before regaining his composure.  
  
Sakura... look, I'm sorry that I haven't been there to help you. I'm your teacher, I should be. I just thought that you were fine and happy. I realize now that it must be hard for you without another girl to talk to. I... I definently know _I'm_ not a girl, but you _could_ talk to me if you want to.  
Kakashi self consciously rubbed the back of his head in a very Naruto-ish manner. He wasn't really that good when it came to talking to women...  
  
Sakura sighed and dropped her head, tired from her outburst.  
  
If you really mean it, I'd like to talk to you.  
All right. We'll talk tomorrow night. Now, get some sleep.  
  
Kakashi exited the tent and Sakura lay down.  
  
It had felt nice to get her feelings out and it felt nice to know that she had someone to talk to. Sakura really craved some girl talk. Kakashi _had_ offered... a miniscule smile ghosted across Haruno Sakura's face as she fell asleep.  
  
  
Lily: Hey! that was shorter than I thought... I didn't really have anything in mind when I started this fic. Anyone have any ideas? I'm willing to listen.


End file.
